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By February 5, 2018The Bay

By Grant Palmer

I’m Mum, my kids Jack and Jill
I fixed up mangled bodies
Soldiers, women and kids.

Now I am fucked in the head
With nightmares each night
Mangled kids that look like my own.

And I left them with their father
When I left to serve
In Screwedupistan against the Taliban.

Their father left when I came home
He couldn’t handle my shit
I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t touch his dick.

The money from Screwedupistan
Paid off his debts so he’s no longer bankrupt
Won’t take the kids, he fucks another woman.

Society isn’t ready for me
A female veteran
All screwed up.

“You cannot wear your father’s medals
On the left hand side”
In the RSL they say.

“Fuck off their mine”
I angrily retort
Burning tears like acid pissing from my eyes.

I cannot work that is all to hard
Who wants a broken women
Tearing up as she cleans the room.

A final repossession notice, screaming red
Is in the mail today
I can’t get a rental and I cannot feed the kids.

I went to DVA starting 18 months ago
Paperwork with legislation I don’t understand
“three months to work out that you served.”

Sclerotic bureaucratic impenetrable
Are you sure you cannot work?
Aged Care Nursing perhaps?

“A nurse” you say “near dying people”
I’m not sure that’s a good idea
I have had enough of that.

The only Pysch available doesn’t take DVA
$250 a session Medicare pays $130
I need that TPI you pricks.

I need help to feed my kids
Try the Salvos they say
A leaner not a lifter.

Looking through wanted ads, anything
Escort and brothel jobs
Melbourne CBD immediate start.

I ring the number mentioned
“Can you do an interview?
You’ll need to strip down naked”

I decide I need to go
“To old” at 30
Says the mutton dressed as lamb.

Fuck her I decide to go alone
I call up some of the others
To learn what I have to do.

I buy a new phone
Cheap lingerie from Kmart
Place an ad.

Text preferred
Incalls prior arrangement
Outcalls hotels only.

Fuck and a blow job
$300 an hour cash
No judgement in return.

I have never done fucking for money
Fucking meant something once
Scared and confused I need to feed the kids.

He sends me a txt, a hotel room at $120 a day
The Pysch’s session Medicare gap $120
Yippee $60 for me.

I hope he is clean
I hope he isn’t fat
What if he wants bum sex?

Do I ask for the cash up front?
Does he just hand it over?
Don’t negotiate a price at all!

The hotel room
Clean but showing its age
Just like me.

Cheap black lingerie brazilian neatly trimmed
Porn silent on TV condoms by the bed
A part time Juliet for Romeo

Fuck you Taliban
Fuck you my ex
Fuck you DVA.

The knock on the door
Ready to be fucked
To feed and house my kids.