Blah Blah Blah – Santa. The lies we have told for so many centuries across cultures, across country boundary lines, are now obsolete when most three-year-olds can Google ‘Santa’ and learn about the con job. They can plainly see the fake beards; the ‘Santa Has No Clothes’ phenomenon is showing the grownups up. When Coca Cola changed Santa’s colours from green and white to red and white in the 1920’s they changed the world.
Blah Blah Blah - Shops. And their lying bargains. Just wait til after Xmas and save heaps, peeps!
Blah Blah Blah - Presents. What a lot of rot to feel beholden to give gifts, when the economy sucks and we’re all scratching for the dollars down the back of the lounge. Just say … ‘No presents. We still love you. Call in for a hug, that’s free.’
Blah Blah Blah - Hot English dinners for a hot Aussie summer. (Oh, ok I do like Heston Blumenthal’s Whole Orange Fruit Pudding: there’s a serving for 12 in the pudding, so I eat one serve a day til the 12 days of Xmas are up. But I love it cold so …); and cold mince pies ... not as nice as my late Mum made with the shortest of short crust and a little brandy in the fruit, but did you know you can buy them all year round?
Blah Blah Blah - Duck and Turkey and Goose ... who-ever eats that stuff anyway? Organic and Free Range, huh! Such lies we are told. They all taste terrible, no-one knows how to cook them or what to do with the left overs - unless you are Jamie Oliver, ‘The Naked Chef’, and you’d need to be naked in the 35 degree heat of Chrissy Day!
Blah Blah Blah - Stupid crackers, Pop! Who wins, who wins what? A waste of paper. Stupid hats! Stupid jokes and little bits of plastic that float forever in our oceans, killing the creatures, but don’t get me started on that … And the ‘gift’ wrapping paper torn, shredded and thrown, land fill!
Blah Blah Blah - Sticky tape manufacturers rejoice every year. That stuff is everywhere, ask my daughter, she says, ‘Mum, you can’t sticky-tape the world together!’ I know, I’m feeling so guilty, but I do love the stuff!
Blah Blah Blah - Plastic pine trees that became tradition only after the English Monarch Queen Vicki married her cousin, a bloke who owned a pine tree farm. Phtt!
Christianity didn't ‘come’ into existence until 300 years after the mythological/ and or queried historical birth of the long predicted Christ - depending if you believe manuscripts that may have authenticity or if you just believe Jesus Christ was actually born. The birthday of the Christ currently used is a usurped date from a European pagan summer solstice date that celebrated life and death in nature ... oh, I would go on, but I expect you've read enough.
I don’t think ‘Jesus of the Christmas-ness’ wants us to get into debt over a commercialisation of the anniversary of his ‘near enough to his birthday’ to celebrate his alleged birth … especially as the birth-date closest to the day he was actually born is lost in a fog of medieval dates and pagan holidays.
‘Rant incomplete, rant incomplete …’ Oh, that’s my Brain, oh, settle down Brain!
p.s. Dear Christians - don’t be offended by my shortening of the holiday to ‘Xmas’, that’s been a centuries old tradition from the days when secret signals were used to connect with like-minded people, the fish symbol is another.
Blah Blah Blah – Humbug. Can’t afford Christmas? Just say so. Your family will still love you. Set your limits well before the holidays and just enjoy the love.
The best part of this rant is the extensive use of the ellipsis …!
There will be more next year and the one after that …!