by Carolyn Newman
Before you get excited, my rant has little to do with sex. There is one small reference that may offend, so has been disguised with a *.
We were a few hours into the event, the wine had been flowing for some time. Pulp was streaming through spotify and had temporarily transported me to a dreamy surreal universe. As I strut my funk across the planet like a stick insect looking for its next foot hold, a conversation drifted to my attention; my limbs froze, mid strut, my senses momentarily returned. I rearranged my arms and legs into something that felt more normal and casually leaned in.
"The part with a*al sex where she just goes 'Oh’; well, it's not like that in real life". I tilted my head to clock the response of her audience, a man she had just met; my sweet, gentle friend. I creased in the middle and died a little. I don't even remember reading that, but still, lets not get the truth get in the way of a good story. He took a large swig of red wine; cast me a sneaky wink and calmly responded, "So, have you read the book?" "Well, no but .... blah, blah, de blah". There endeth my actual interest in any further pontification. I resumed my funk to the kitchen and back with a bottle of red to top up the glass of my champion.
Next example: this is gospel truth, and if you are on my rant train, you will love this one.
Facebook! A marvelous tool for keeping in contact with distant and not so distant acquaintances; posting pictures and anecdotes of your life to friends and total strangers and ....... apparently, sharing your uneducated, unqualified opinions and every bit of tosh you can find about Fifty Shades.
Status: "I've not read the book or seen the movie and have no intention of doing so; but read this article" (from a psychologist I've never heard of, who could be a total crackpot). "It's amazing!"
Really? How do you know it amazing?! You haven't read the book or seen the movie!!
I don't understand why there is so much noise and critique around the shades phenomenon.
The other BIG surprise is that I so strongly defend a book that I wouldn't put in my top 100, but let’s not dwell on that, I am thoroughly enjoying the rant.
I have, of course, read the book (and seen the movie). I have also enjoyed many discussions with other ‘shady peeps’ who have read the book.